This has been something on my mind recently. There are many reasons why though specifics aren’t important in comparison to the topic as it has been endlessly plaguing my every waking moment. I’ve had experiences in the past where my trust was broken; failed relationships, failed friendships, and so on. . . yet recently this thought popped into my head: After having your trust stomped on numerous times one begins to question their own judgment, and not just concerning others, but even about themselves.
How does one repair this. . . self-doubt? That’s a question I can’t seem to answer, honestly. It lingers there at the edges of my mind even when it focused on something else altogether as if a piece of a puzzle that I cannot place. I think questioning my judgment in others has also caused self-doubt in my judgment about myself. Not just when it comes to personal relationships, but in all way of things. I’ve always had an issue with self-confidence – particularly the lack thereof, and it seems to have become more prominent as the years have passed following these incidents where I’ve put my trust in the hands of another only to have it twisted to pieces; turned into a pile of dust to be blown away. I doubt myself when it comes to everything I do, and constantly question myself about things. I always wonder ‘Is this good enough?’ or think ‘Oh this is complete garbage. nobody will like it.’, and thoughts such as these end up being a detriment to myself as they create a road block in either me giving up or me scrapping something completely.
This is most especially true when it comes to writing as I can never be satisfied. I’m always questioning my work even when I try to mute that part of my mind. There are times it frustrates me beyond words as I deal with a great deal of writer’s block – and have for awhile – when it comes to writing my stories. I want to share them with others except I always have that nagging doubt that anything I write will never be good enough. I’ve always felt there’s the distinct possibility it most definitely ties into the self-doubt issue cause there are moments where, after having my trust stomped on or my heart shattered, I always think ‘Am I not good enough?’ or ‘Oh who am I kidding? I’ll never be good enough.’ which is never something a person should ever think about themselves. It can’t be helped at times though. These thoughts worm their way into our minds after incidents that cause holes in our own self-confidence and/or self-worth which in turn causes self-doubt.
I’m not quite sure how to fix the holes left in mine so that I can push past this doubt in myself, and succeed at those things it keeps me from doing. Yet I am trying every single day which is important to do. Always keep on trying even when you just want to give up.
My questions, to those of you who read, is: What techniques do you use to combat self-doubt? What are your thoughts on the subject? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter.